A bit of this and that

I have been lacking in posting lately. I have no reason for this other than I am lazy! So here are some random updates and thoughts.
Last night I was sleeping around 11:30pm and I got a call. I was so excited since I thought it was Cammie telling me to meet her at the hospital to have the baby. No such luck, it was my SIL telling me my nearly nephew had a bed fall on his head. I went over to look at him and make sure he was ok and he was thank goodness. He just knocked his cute little pea-pickin noggin pretty hard.
Cammie is just about to her due date and I am so excited to be able to be with her and help/coach her through the birthing process. She is due July 14th and I am super pumped!!!
I will try to update more later.

full saving grace theme w/lryrics

Amen to this song. Lyrics are posted below!



One time around the block
Two times around the clock
Three times, don't cross the little lady (lady)

So pretty and, oh, so bold
Got a heart full of gold on a lonely road
She said, "I don't even think that God can save me" (save me)

(Am I) gainin' ground
(Am I) losin' face
(Have I) lost and found my saving grace
Thankful for the gift my angels gave me

Born alone, we die alone
'n' I'm just sittin' here by the phone
Waitin' for the Lord to send my callin'

Street wise from the boulevard
Jesus only knows that she tries too hard
She's only tryin' to keep the sky from fallin'

("How'd you know my name"
"God sent me"
"God sent you"
"Yes")

Any man who says it's Heaven and Hell
Prob'ly got somethin' useless to sell
You ask me if I'm saved, but what's it to ya?

Blow a quarter, cop another eight
You're runnin' out of high, you're losin' your faith
Throw your hands up and scream, "Hallelujah"

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Amen

One time around the sun
Another year older and my work ain't done
It's time for me to write the final chapter (chapter)

Deal the cards and roll the dice
Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll are my only vice
Tryin' to figure out just what's here after (here after)

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Amen
by everlast

Anna Grace Performs an Original Song for Ellen!

HOLY AMAZING!!!!! I love that Ellen showcases so much fabulous talent.

Firebolt - BYU's Divine Comedy

I love this and all the Divine Comedy videos!

Just so ya know (in honor of Ashley)

Just so ya know.....

Big girls who wear tube tops, bikinis, tight clothing and anything else that is made for petite peeps...
~ dang you look nasty. And that is coming from me who is a very big girl. I am all about embracing your body, be comfortable in your skin but WOW! We don't need to see it. COME ON.... At least try to show you have class AND confidence.

Stores that sell said clothing(above)
~ if you can buy it at the 5.7.9 store you should not sell it in your store. I love Lane Bryant, Deb, Gap, and Torrid, but seriously.... big beautiful women like me do not need to see those things in your store and think that they are acceptable to wear in PUBLIC!! Love yourself and your body but please help spread the class around.

Just so ya know.....

A Prayer for all

Concentrate on this sentence: “To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did”. When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence: “The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.” Something good will happen to you today, something that you have been waiting for. Please do not break me. God our Heavenly Father, walk through my house and take away all my worries and illnesses and please watch over and heal me and my family in Jesus name, Amen.

blah

I am in terrible pain and I feel SICK! That is all.

My Gethsemane

I wrote this in 2006. I just felt the need to share it.

Some years ago I came across a poem whose message caught my attention. It so intrigued me that I decided I would memorize it. It only took a few months of neglect however for the passages to fade, but the last stanza has always stayed fixed in my mind. It reads:

“All those who journey soon or late,
Must pass within the garden's gate;
Must kneel alone in the darkness there,
And battle with some fierce despair.
God pity those who cannot say,
“Not mine but thine” who only pray,
“Let this cup pass” and cannot see
The purpose in Gethsemane”

Just a few short months later, this passage would take on a deeper, more personal meaning. In 2005 I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. The cancer had progressed to stage four, that being the most severe stage for ovarian cancer. Having spread into my abdomen, the cancer had quickly invaded every space available; constricting the proper function of organs, and wrapping itself around nerves and major arteries alike. The far reaching fingers of the disease had also found its way into my chest cavity, there attaching itself to my lungs. Even a small amount had deposited itself in my shoulder near my collar bone.

Over the next 6-8 months I would spend close to two months in the hospital, being operated on 5 times, and experience two grueling months of Chemotherapy. It is not an experience that I would ever want to relive. But I am grateful for the way the Lord helped me to grow
during the experience.

One evening during my second week of chemotherapy treatment, I found myself resting in an oversized armchair at my adopted family's home. I had recently returned home from having the toxic chemicals of chemotherapy run through my veins for over eight hours. Needless to
say, I was exhausted and extremely tired as the poisons continued their destructive course through my body; indiscriminately killing cancer cells and normal healthy body cells alike. As I sat there without the strength or will do do anything more than think, the question that I had repeatedly pushed aside and tried to ignore came back in greater force. Unable to cast it aside this time, I considered it. Why Me? Why was this happening to me In that very moment sorrow
over whelmed me and I could do nothing more than but cry out as Joseph Smith did from the darkness of the Liberty Jail. “Oh God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?”

As the gaping hole of sorrow threatened to swallow me, the gentle and loving rebuke came to my mind, “The Son of man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?” Instantly my mind has drawn to remember all the suffering the Son of Man willingly took upon himself
for me. Suffering that caused him, “even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed from every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit.' He suffered “temptations and pain of body, hunger, thirst and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death.” Lying there in my own pain and sorrow, I gained some sense of the eternal vastness of Christ's agony and pain. And how small my suffering seemed to be when compared to that of the infinite
and eternal! What gratitude filled my heart as I thought about how he loved me so much that he willingly took upon himself my suffering and more! Peace entered my soul as I felt his love comfort and surround me.

How true Alma's words are: “And he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with Mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” I understood and felt that he truly did know what I was feeling, and going though, and he shared in my sorrow. I felt his gentle words “Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion for the son of her womb? Yeah, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.”

As this light and understanding lifted my heart from the depths of despair and sorrow, I felt as Alma the younger when he expressed, “and oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold: yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! Yea I say unto you... that there be nothing as exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you... that on the other hand, there can be nothing exquisite and so sweet as was my joy.” I learned first hand that day, that just as the atonement can make our scarlet sins become as white as a fresh white snow, it can also ease our pain and change our sorrow to hope, and peace. As we answer the Lords call to “Come Unto Him”, he truly will “ease the burdens which are put upon our shoulders, that even we cannot feel them upon our backs.”

Life will never be easy. When those difficult times come, it is up to us whether we “curse God”, as Job's wife would have had him do, or trust in the Lord and seek what it is that he would have us learn. Elder Richard G. Scott said, “ Just when all seems to be going alright, challenges of ten come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not the consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where he wants you to be requires a lot of stretching and that generally entails much pain and discomfort. This life is an experience in profound Trust in Jesus Christ,” Through my experience I came to understand many things about myself and my relationship with my Heavenly Father that I would
not have gained otherwise.

I never did receive an answer to my question of why me? Perhaps I didn't feel I need to ask it anymore. I had been to my Gethsemane: I had knelt there and gained some sense of what Christ had done for me. I caught a glimpse of the purpose of Gethsemane. I only hope that I can continue to say, “Not as I will, but as thou wilt” and seek to be that which my Heavenly Father would have me be.
2006

Checking 123

Stress? check
anxiety? check
afraid? check
Confidence? CHECK!!!!
I have been sick over the call from my Dr yesterday. I am stressed, anxious, scared, and also very confidant in my choices and in my medical team. I threw myself a pretty good little pity party yesterday. I cried, yelled and broke things. Then I stepped back and thought, Why am I feeling all these bad things? I'm alive wow! I am so glad to be able to feel all these wild emotions. As you will recall, I was going to be lucky to live to see Christmas. Here I am more than 5 months later.

Sometimes in our lives it is hard to see anything positive with all the crap that surrounds us. If you wake up in the morning you have something positive to see. We are not promised anything in this life so I say, LIVE IT!!!! One of my favorite General Authorities Elder Richard G. Scott said, " Just when all seems to be going alright, challenges often come in multiple doses applied
simultaneously. When those trials are not the consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where he wants you to be requires a lot of stretching and that generally entails much pain and discomfort."

I truly believe in these things. I need to get busy but have a blessed week.