I am hoping that through all the experiences I have had that I can share some of it and if not, than at least provide some amazing entertainment( no guarantees). I do promise to always share my opinions and feelings! Live, Laugh, Love, My favorite phrase and I strive everyday, in every situation to remember it!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Think before you speak (or act)

The girl you just called fat? She's overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying.

Monday, September 12, 2011

HALLELLUJAH!!!!!!!!!!

The time has passed. My last blood work results came back today!
I can now say I'm in REMISSION!!!!!!
Did you read that right? REMISSION!!!!!!!!!
Sweet heavens I have been waiting forever for this!!!
I still will be dealing with the terrible side effects for awhile if not forever but YES I did it!!! Who wants to celebrate with me this weekend? Holistic medicine is the ONLY reason I am here today!! And my faith!! And modern medicine... I guess a combination of everything! Thank the good lord for that!

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Saturday, September 10, 2011

Epic Fail

It seems like no matter how hard I try or how much work I put into relationships, I still get crapped on. I must not be trying hard enough. I have lots of "friends" and "family" but when it really matters or when it really counts to me, I am simply not good enough. I must be doing something wrong. For the life of me I cannot figure out what it is. Do you know?

I have so many people who have been so positive in my life over the years. For that I am so very thankful. I also have the negative influences in my life. For that I am also grateful. It has all helped to shape and mold me into the person I am today. However I must not be as good of a person as I thought I was. I am trying to figure out what I keep screwing up.

I have been the type of friend, sister, daughter, whatever that dropped everything the second that my family and friends have called and asked for my help. I have stayed up for nights on end to help my friends get rest while their newborn is colicky. I organize parties and dinners for all sorts of things for others. I throw and attend baby showers when in fact I HATE the fact that I cannot have my own children naturally or at all for that matter. I am the medical person that people call for advice or help with anything. I organize a team every year for Relay for Life to raise awareness and money to fight the leading killing disease in America. I always say that if I have met you even once we are friends, and if we are not friends it's only because we have not met yet. I will pray for you when I think you might need or if you ask me to and I am not a person who prays a lot. I try to be the best friend, sister, daughter whatever that I can. My friends have become my family in recent years as well as Phil's family has become my own. I feel all of this slipping away. I feel as distant as ever. What am I doing wrong? I am at my absolute wits end and am tired of getting crapped on.

Maybe I am just writing all these things to cheer me up, to validate myself. I don't know. I do know that I am so sad right now. My heart is broken. I know there are 2 ways to change things you don't like in this world. Change the entire world, or change yourself. The easiest one is obvious to me. Anyway I have complained plenty and I am sorry for whining. I know I cannot change others but can change myself. Have a blessed day.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

A message to all women

For all the girls out there,
the ones who stay up all night worrying about their friends,
the ones that wear their hearts on their sleeves,
the ones that don't care what they look like,
the ones that don't care what they say,
the ones that take things one day at a time,
the ones that go forward without looking back,

To the girls that are heartbroken,
the ones that care too much,
the ones that don't care enough,
the ones that say I Love You,
the ones that say I hate you,
the ones that laugh at you,
the ones that laugh with you,
the ones that will give you a hug,
and the ones that will stab you in the back.

Are we all so different? What makes us different? I'm curious. We're all the same version of a WOMAN. We are POWERFUL, STRONG, BEAUTIFUL human beings, whether we be short, tall, fat, skinny, light or dark skinned, well endowed or lacking volume.

We're not THAT different, and if we keep putting our differences in front of us, we'll never see the beauty that lies beyond...take a minute and think about all the beautiful woman in your lives, and be thankful you still have them, you never know when they might just be gone.