Uhoh here we go again( I think)

We had a nice long weekend. I would like to say we did so many fun things and had such a blast blah blah blah. However, I have been feeling pretty crappy lately and its getting worse as time goes on. I count my blessings every day that I am here and as well as I am. I can't seem to shake the sickness. I am having strange symptoms kinda like the first time I had cancer. I had a lot of breathing trouble and come to find out I had cancer that attached to my lungs.

I had a few studies done on my lungs a couple weeks ago and it came back abnormal. What does this mean? I don't have lung cancer. PHEW!!! I do have a a small mass on the bottom of my right lung. The Dr wants to have me admitted to the hospital for further testing. Grrrrr...... I want my life back for a change please. On the plus side it could be a whole lot worse.

The Dr asked if I am ready to do chemo yet and as usual I said no. It's funny that every time I get a test result back that is not perfect, they ALWAYS ask me that.

I have too many things coming up in the next few months to get any sicker. Cammie is due mid July and I get the honor of being with her through the birth process. I have fishing trips, and camping with Whitney. I have too many fun things to name. Have no worries for me my friends. IT will all be OK. Regardless of the result or outcomes I am going to be OKAY! I will post more later but I need to get back to work! Say a quick little prayer for me and have a Terrific Tuesday!!!

Toby Keith - American Soldier

Have a great Memorial Day. Remember those we have lost both personally and as a country.

I'll think of You

My sweet friend Laura Lost one of the most precious of life's gift late summer. She lost her baby girl Mikkie. I never got to meet her. I wish I had though. I have talked about Lura multiple times on this blog. The reason being she means so very much to me. You see, the way we met was her older brother was my manager at Prosper. When I heard about the accident with Mikkie, I wanted to do something to help. I didn't do much but raise a few dollars for the family and sent a card.

Laura and her family had been on my mind for weeks and weeks. I didn't know why since I had never met them. So one random day I emailed her. As the stories all go...... the rest is history. It's wonderful that through this tragedy I made a lifelong friend. I just wish we had met without the terrible trial.

Anyway, I LOVE this song and listen to it often. Laura made for her baby girl. Take a second and watch and PLEASE..... remember to count your blessing EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!! You never know when you will be hit with unthinkable trials. Have a safe and memorable Memorial Day! With love ~Derin~

Daughtry version of Poker Face

I like this version. Plus he is super good to look at.

Willow Smith - "Whip My Hair" choreography

This song kinda drives me crazy but wow these kiddos are super talented!

Perfect- Pink (clean lyrics)

I love this song! Such a good message. Pink is one of my all time favorites!!!

Derin's Secret Special Place

I have been working on this room for months now. It's not done but it's livable. This is my special room. I can make it as clean or as messy as I want. Phil can avoid it thus making him happier. As you can tell I LOVE books, shoes, and clothes. I still have a few boxes of books but I need another shelf before I can put them out. I'm kind of a nerd. I enjoy reading text books and learning from them. I'm not big on romance novels but I love fiction, suspense and mysteries. My grandma Martinez got me in a terrible habit in my early teens. She told me when I start a new book I need to read the end first. Crazy, I know. That way she said if something happens and I don't finish the book I will still know how it ended. I still do this, although not as much as I used to.

As you can see I have lots of clothes. The wardrobes are full and so are the plastic drawers. Do I where them all? No. Will I get rid of the ones I don't wear? NO. The same will can be said for my shoes and book collections. My husband says I am a hoarder. Yeah kinda. I like to shop. I will continue shopping cause its entertaining and soothing! Enjoy so pictures of my special no Phil allowed room.

Best Birthday EVER!!!

Last weekend I was blessed to spend my entire weekend with loved ones to celebrate my 30th birthday. It started Friday at work. The company I work for Doba bought us all yoga balls to use at our desks ( I LOVE IT). They came in Friday morning. Then for lunch my super amazing boss ordered my team Chinese food for our meeting we had. Then I came home to the most wonderful surprise from my husband. He bought me a Wii, the Glee karaoke. What a fun thing. We went out to eat at wingers and had their amazing Asphalt pie. Then we went shopping for some Wii games and stuff. We got the Wii fit and about 10 games and accessories. Mario kart anyone?

On Saturday I got to spend the day with 7 of my most dear, sweet and awesome friends. Laura, Lisa, Whitney, Ashley, Cammie, Liesl, and Tina. Along with baby McKay and Kaleb. We went to SLC to Gardener's Village for lunch and shopping. I had so much fun and was completely exhausted from it, but it was totally worth it. In the pictures you can see that yes I put in long extensions. Also the amazing bright pink purse that I am sporting was gift from my wonderful friend Laura. She has great taste right? I LOVE IT!!!Thank you to all my friends who came with us and celebrated my special day with me!

Liesl and baby McKay

Cammie and Baby Kaleb

Laura and I with my amazing pink purse she gave me

Did someone say SEXY? Oh yeah Ashley and I

Whitney and I

Ashley and I

Lisa and I. Someone asked if we were sisters. Since she is super pretty and amazing I will take that as a wonderful compliment.

Whitney and I again

After my fun girl's day at Gardener's Village, I went to mom and dad Harvey's for more birthday celebrating! Phil made me a delicious cake and my in laws made an awesome meal. I am truly a blessed woman. I have a wonderful group of friends and family both blood and by marriage. I wouldn't be the person I am today with out all of their influence. Thank you everyone for making me feel like a queen. Love and hugs to all!!!! It's picture time.

Blowing out the candles on the cake my hubby made for me!

GLEE - Born This Way - Full Performance

I love this!


Here are the full Lady Gaga version lyrics. I love the message of the song. It is a great message.

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'cause you were Born This Way, Baby

VERSE:
MY MAMA TOLD ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG
WE ARE ALL BORN SUPERSTARS

SHE ROLLED MY HAIR AND PUT MY LIPSTICK ON
IN THE GLASS OF HER BOUDOIR

"THERE'S NOTHIN WRONG WITH LOVIN WHO YOU ARE"
SHE SAID, "'CAUSE HE MADE YOU PERFECT, BABE"

"SO HOLD YOUR HEAD UP GIRL AND YOU'LL GO FAR,
LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAY"


CHORUS:
I'M BEAUTIFUL IN MY WAY
'CAUSE GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY

DON'T HIDE YOURSELF IN REGRET
JUST LOVE YOURSELF AND YOU'RE SET
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY

POST-CHORUS:
OOO THERE AIN'T NO OTHER WAY
BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY
BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY
OOO THERE AIN'T NO OTHER WAY
BABY I WAS BORN-
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY

DON'T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON'T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON'T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON'T BE!

VERSE:
GIVE YOURSELF PRUDENCE
AND LOVE YOUR FRIENDS
SUBWAY KID, REJOICE YOUR TRUTH

IN THE RELIGION OF THE INSECURE
I MUST BE MYSELF, RESPECT MY YOUTH

A DIFFERENT LOVER IS NOT A SIN
BELIEVE CAPITAL H-I-M (HEY HEY HEY)
I LOVE MY LIFE I LOVE THIS RECORD AND
MI AMORE VOLE FE YAH (LOVE NEEDS FAITH)

REPEAT CHORUS + POST-CHORUS

BRIDGE:

DON'T BE A DRAG, JUST BE A QUEEN
WHETHER YOU'RE BROKE OR EVERGREEN
YOU'RE BLACK, WHITE, BEIGE, CHOLA DESCENT
YOU'RE LEBANESE, YOU'RE ORIENT
WHETHER LIFE'S DISABILITIES
LEFT YOU OUTCAST, BULLIED, OR TEASED
REJOICE AND LOVE YOURSELF TODAY
'CAUSE BABY YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY

NO MATTER GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BI,
LESBIAN, TRANSGENDERED LIFE
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN TO SURVIVE
NO MATTER BLACK, WHITE OR BEIGE
CHOLA OR ORIENT MADE
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN TO BE BRAVE

I have chemo brain what's your excuse?

You know the old saying that no one can make you feel inferior unless you let them? Well I say FALSE! Words can be painful and unless you are stone cold inside how can you brush them off? I am the kind of person that wears my emotions, feelings, heart and moods on my sleeve. I am easily influenced by my surroundings.

My new boss has decided to call me HC for hot and cold. Meaning that my personality is hot and cold. Does that bother me? YES. Why? Because it makes me feel inferior to him and others around me. Is it true? YES. Again it is because I am a "sleeve wearer". It is a good thing to me because you will always know EXACTLY how I am. When I am sick or in pain I am very somber. When I am happy and feeling good, I am perky and extra friendly. One might say this is a poor quality to have. I say wrong. I am an open book.




Today I am feeling very angry. I was told by a supervisor to work on a task and it completly made me feel stupid. I am going to work on it but basically he stated I do not know what I am doing. I have been here for 3 weeks. GIVE ME A BREAK! Not only that but I have a hard time retaining information and learning new things. I think this may not be a place for me. I need to toughen up I guess.

Relay For life

Our Reason to Relay

We are making a difference by teaming up to participate in the American Cancer Societys Relay For Life.

At the event, our team will camp out overnight and take turns walking around the track to raise money and awareness to help the American Cancer Society create a world with less cancer and more birthdays.

Saving lives from cancer starts one team, one participant, and one dollar at a time. Our team is doing our part to make sure that cancer never steals another year of anyone?s life.

Please join our team or make a donation. The impact we can make together is much greater than what any of us could do alone!

My Story

My name is Derin, I am 6 year cancer survivor and am currently battling my second round. Let's work together to raise awareness and find a cure from this terrible illness.-Derin

Some years ago I came across a poem whose message caught my attention. It so intrigued me that I decided I would memorize it. It only took a few months of neglect however for the passages to fade, but the last stanza has always stayed fixed in my mind. It reads:

All those who journey soon or late,
Must pass within the garden?s gate;
Must kneel alone in the darkness there,
And battle with some fierce despair.
God pity those who cannot say,
Not mine but thine who only pray,
Let this cup pass and cannot see
The purpose in Gethsemane

Just a few short months later, this passage would take on a deeper, more personal meaning. In 2005 I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. The cancer had progressed to stage four, that being the most severe stage for ovarian cancer. Having spread into my abdomen, the cancer had quickly invaded every space available; constricting the proper function of organs, and wrapping itself around nerves and major arteries alike. The far reaching fingers of the disease had also found its way into my chest cavity, there attaching itself to my lungs. Even a small amount had deposited itself in my shoulder near my collar bone.

Over the next 6-8 months I would spend close to two months in the hospital, being operated on 5 times, and experience two grueling months of Chemotherapy. It is not an experience that I would ever want to relive.

However, it is a reality that I am doing this again. I have completed an intensive radiation regime, and had 2 chemo booster shots, as well as a few different oral medications.

If you would like to make a donation to an individual team member, please click on their name within the Team Roster below:

Team Derin's Angels

Sara Ramirez singing "The Story" at The Grove in Los Angeles

She has incredible talent. I LOVE her voice and this version of the song.

Chasing Cars | Grey's Anatomy Cast | Musical Episode

I love this show and music from this episode. WOW total talent here!!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is depressing for me. I'm am not very close with my mother but am blessed to have an amazing mom in law. My mom in law is such a wonderful woman and mother. She has taught me so much about what it means to be part of a family both in marriage and in spirit. Mom, thank you for all that you have taught me and are continually teaching me. I love you! You have raised 4 wonderful children, and taught my husband how to treat his wife like a queen.


Phil gave me flowers today and told me happy future mother's day. It totally brightened my day.


I am grateful for all the strong women in my life. There are so many that have helped to shape me into the woman I am. I look around and can't help but smile when I think of them. I have wonderful friends who share their children with me. They let me love on them and it brings me joy. My sweet friend Laura lost one of her precious daughters last year and all I can think about right now is how strong and loving she is. I can't even imagine how much hurt she is feeling today and everyday. It makes me happy to know that her sweet Mikkie is smiling down on her mommy today and everyday. Laura I know life has dealt your more than your fair share of trials and I know that you are only going to continue to become stronger EVERYDAY!!!

Whitney is another of my dear sweet friend. She shared the day her son was born with me. She allowed me to change his diaper, love on him, hold him and cuddle him. He is just over a year old now. I will always remember how she blessed me. Whitney, thank you for sharing your magical day with me. Your friendship means more to me than I can say. I feel so terrible that we have such a hard time matching our schedules up. I have seen you grown into a wonderful mother. Thank you for just being you.


Another wonderful mother is my friend Ashley. She has a son as well who is about 1 1/2 years old. She has transformed to a mommy with such grace and excitement. Ashley, thank you for staying a true friend to me. I know we have gone large amounts of time between seeing each other but I do think of you often. I treasure our friendship and always chuckle when I remember our old OS days. You were the one saving grace for me there. I am blessed to have you as a friend and example of a loving mother.


When I was in high school I was very distant with my mother. We just never have seen eye to eye. There were so many women from church who taught me things and showed me unconditional love even when I didn't deserve it. I have since lost contact with most of them but regret that. You will always be so dear to my heart.

If I can even be half as good of a mother as these wonderful women then It would be a true testament of how amazing they are. There are so many others I want to spotlight but am out of time. Thank you to all the women in my life who uplift, support, love and teach me. I love you so much!!!

Low white cell count

Low white cell count. That is the only result from by blood work that was abnormal. So WOOHOO but kinda scary too. Low count can mean many things. It can also be a fluke! The Dr. wants to retest it and do a spinal tap before we totally freak out. He wasn't convinced that it was anything to worry about. Yeah right??!!! Do you know me? HELLO!!! Anyway Positive thinking....... all will be well. I'm so anxious to hear those 4 magic words. " you are in remission ". I am terrible at being patient ;)

I am getting a team together for this years Relay For Life. If you are interested in helping or donating money to the team or need more info let me know. I will post more about that later.

This is short but I'm tired and will try to post tomorrow!