Tuesday, April 17, 2012
This to shall pass....
Yesterday was hard but today I am so craving a smoke. I officailly had my last ciggarette on Sunday April 15th, 2012. I have a stash of hot tamales and sunflower seeds, bum, and suckers. I don't know why this is so hard but I am staying true to myself. I WILL DO THIS!!!!!!!!! I sure could use the support and positive JUJU that you can send my way!!! Thanks for the support.
Monday, April 16, 2012
New life? yes please!
As of right now I have gone 26 hours with out a cigarette. Oh, you didn't know I smoke again? I quit for 4 years and then started again about 3 years ago. I am restless, frustrated and anxious. I was also planning on stopping soda. I have only had about 1/8 of soda today compared to what I normally have. I cannot stop both at the same time or I will go NUTS!!! Stay tuned to see if I fail again or can finally kick these terrible, sickening, and deadly habits! This is the first step in the new, healthy, amazing, beautiful Derin transformation.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Ultrasound Results
So I had the ultra sound yesterday and I even got the results right away. Well, all your prayers helped and the lump is nothing to be worried about. We will keep an eye on it and check it in a month or two to see if it is smaller, bigger, or the same. For now I am counting my blessing and am so relieved about this. I was so scared. Thank you Laura and Whitney for being amazing friends and praying for me. You are amazing friends and you really helped me yesterday. All my friends are so wonderful. Thank you all for your continued support, love and friendship!
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Ultra sound
So I talked my way into an appointment this afternoon for the ultra sound. Please pray for me.
A Lump
Last night I found what felt like a grape sized hard lump in my right breast. I, being me totally freaked out. I had trouble sleeping and have been nauseous since I found it. I went to my Dr. first thing this morning. He was slightly concerned about it especially considering my Cancer history. He has ordered an ultra sound of both breasts to confirm what we are dealing with. He said in can be anything from a lymph-node to a tumor. He was mainly worried because of the size of it and that is doesn't move. It also has a sort of tail feeling to the end of it. I am trying to cope with the fears while I wait for the ultra sound. If I lose it now I don't know what to do. I am scared and nervous. Please keep me in your prayers. I WILL NOT FIGHT CANCER AGAIN. I will not put my husband through it ever again, or my friends and family again. I will NOT DO IT! My life may end early and I may not live much past the day I am diagnosed with it if I am. There is not much I can control but this may be one thing. I will post after the ultrasound with the results. Who knows, maybe it's a fluke and everything is just fine and dandy.
Remember back when I found out I was in remission for the second time? I was happy but said I was just wondering when it will come back. I pray this is nothing major. My ovaries are doing good and I am still in remission from that.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Life lessons.
I read this and thought it was worth sharing. Especially today when life is in limbo and my future is uncertain.
Written by a 90 year old
This is something we should all read at
least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read
to the end!!!!!!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of
the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote
the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most
requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so
here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are
sick. Your friends and family will.
5.Don't buy stuff you don't need.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no
idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't
be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye
But don't worry; God never blinks.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter
weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to
you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the
fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words
'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because
of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw
everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already
have not what you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
This is something we should all read at
least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read
to the end!!!!!!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of
the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote
the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most
requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so
here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are
sick. Your friends and family will.
5.Don't buy stuff you don't need.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no
idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't
be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye
But don't worry; God never blinks.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter
weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to
you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the
fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words
'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because
of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw
everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already
have not what you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
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